I am not a talented writer.  I ramble and chase rabbits and get over emotional and over think and rewrite and analyze and rewrite again and before I know it I just save it all and never let it publish.  I’m left with that defeatist attitude plaguing my soul but never seeming to take root so I just keep writing and typing and wondering.

We don’t need another commentary on what we say.  We don’t need another judgement on what we do.  I am intelligent enough to understand differences and respect them all and understand full well the privileges we all share in this country allowing us “freedom of speech.”  What I crave is fellowship, honest and open dialog with people not afraid to think.

I also understand that I have no business hurting another person with my own personal freedoms.  I am free to do everything but not everything is beneficial.  I get the fact that shouting fire in a crowded building when there is no fire is unacceptable.  So we are free but we are also bound. 

Yet the confusing part is attempting to understand the tie that really binds the other person.  The only way you truly understand a person is to spend time with them and talk back and forth asking questions gaining clarity and weighing it all out.

Sometimes I just know and that knowing is not part of me it is a knowing beyond what is me.  Sadly more often than not I have not followed the knowing.

I believe in the God, the one true God and Father of us all.  I believe that the God is all powerful, all knowing and forever present.  I believe that God dwelt in the flesh and body of Jesus Christ.  I believe that Jesus Christ perfectly manifested the Word of God on Earth as it is in Heaven.  I believe totally and completely in God’s Word and I believe that His Word is His Will and I believe that I should obey His Will.

Do I?  Nope.  The things I should do I don’t and the things I shouldn’t do I find myself doing or at least wanting to in my mind and the thought has the capacity to bring forth the action so to even think disobediently puts me on shaky ground and that’s not God’s will.

I am human and for me that means I was born with a capacity to do “good and evil” and throughout my life I have accomplished both “good and evil.”  Some other humans have obviously thought that they could eradicate the good or the evil in me but it is not possible for another like myself to do so what I sought was someone beyond myself. 

I am human.  I am not an animal who can be trained by a master who thinks he owns me.  I’ve thought I owned a few animals myself and even the sweetest puppy or kitten will bite the hand that feeds them and even if we can determine that they did not mean to it does not lessen the hurt.  A wound is painful even if unintentional. 

Yet we wound and are wounded.  I regret that I don’t always remember the pain before I inflict it on someone else.  It is so easy to just forget that the sword has two edges.  Maybe we are just holding the sword the wrong way when we pull it out of the sheath.

My last stand is not because I’m quitting or giving up.  My last stand is just a firm standing cry for the right Spirit.

If it’s truthfully not by might nor power but by His Spirit then I think it behooves one to find out what that means.  I seek and I find.  I ask and I receive.  I knock and the door is opened.  I desire to walk in Spirit and in Truth as a true worshipper.  I am standing right where God wants me to be in the name of Jesus Christ.

I don’t attend a local building right now with a word church attached to the label.  I have in the past and I may again I basically live today.  I have in the past left “church buildings” but I have never left “The Church.” 

I accepted Jesus Christ as my Saviour by faith as a child and that remains not based on what I do or say but entirely on what He did and said.

I have left many buildings because my feelings were hurt and I left many because I did not agree.  This last departure was because I felt a seemingly uncontrollable urge to just take out a whip and turn over some tables.  That is not my place and I’m glad that I was restrained.

You can ask me any question but before I answer I want to know who you are and why you’re asking.  You know Jesus once made a statement when he was told that his mother and brothers were at the door asking for him.  He stated that the people who hear and do the will of his Father were his family so if I am to be a member of his family then I have to hear and do the will of His Father.  I want His Father to be my Father.  Hear and Do that’s Spirit and Truth and that’s how Jesus said that True worshippers would walk.

Have you heard something I said and need to ask a question?  My question is who did you hear it from?  I heard she said that’s the mantra they cry yet were you there to hear the spirit in which it was said?  Did you hear the truth first hand?  Do you even know me well enough to trust me or do you just know who I was?

Let me dispel the myth.  I consider myself a sinner saved by grace.  I was the chiefest of sinners in that even when I did have knowledge of the law I broke it anyway not claiming ignorance just weakness.  I don’t always get it right.  Thank God for Grace.  I’m not always kind.  Thank God for mercy.  But I want to be right and kind so I don’t give up.  I want to know everything.  The Bible says that I can know all.  Jesus knew all.   I don’t want to be God but I do want to be like him. 

Where are the Father’s?  Where are the Mother’s?  Where are the brothers and sisters?  A father being someone who plants a seed and before he does has everything necessary to provide, protect and defend it before the seed is delivered.  A mother who willingly accepts the seed and has a safe place for the seed to dwell when life is so fragile it cannot stand or speak, a mother who will go through the pain to deliver the child from confinement of darkness and deep water.  The siblings who fight each other to learn but will remember to pick each other up when they fall.

You know the Bible says that “if my people who are called by my name would humble themselves and turn from their wicked ways then I will hear from heaven and heal their land.”  If that’s conditional.  My people?  Who are they?  The ones called by my name.  What is God’s name?  Not his titles but His name?  Now we the people of God called by His name have a responsibility.  The if conditions are laid out.  Humble yourself.  Turn from wicked ways.  Then I (God) he is the only big I there should be, I will hear from heaven, I will heal their land.  So I can conclude if the land is sick then the reason it is sick is the fault of God’s people who are called by His name.

It’s not enough to just pray you have to obey.  You can pray wrong you can pray right but their is only one way to obey.

Christian is that what we are?  Christ is a title not a name.  So do we just like the titles?  That to me would be like power and might you know how a title seems to give one power and might?  His name shall be Jesus, Yeshua, Joshua, Jesu meaning Jehovah Saves right?  We could have easily been called “saviours”.  Oh how many labels there are “those of the Way, the Nazarenes, the Baptist, the Galileans, the Believers on and on and on through the years just more names or are they all just titles?  There should be and is and will only be One Name and yet God seemed to have to break that name down into many in order to get us finite creatures to understand.  Can we be  family in name only?  If so then the last stand cry is “Whose your daddy?”


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