There have been so many wonderful times in my life spent with family and friends.  I have experienced everything that I need to experience within the confines of this world and I have experienced some that were not so necessary just a result of wrong turns and bad choices.  Through all of my journey I have learned and grown. 

A great many years I have waited to know it all.  People along the way have attempted to convince me that no one knows it all and their attempts have always been the catalyst to move me forward.  I’ve had a few people who would say to my face “you think you know it all”, and I can only conjecture a great many more thought the same yet never said it. 

Later on in my life I became obsessed with understanding others and I sort of gave up on knowing it all.  I busied myself just talking and talking because by the way when I’m talking that’s when I hear the best.  (Not my own words but the silent ones from outside of myself yet inside the deepest place of my heart.)  A need to please and a loss of identity was the result.  That’s the negative but the positive outweighs that because I learned that other people want to know it all, some think they know it all and some go to great strides to convince others.  I was not alone.

I am surrounded by a world of people.  The only problem with that fact is that the truth is I was born a princess and no one else knows or so it would appear.  You see when I was born I was surrounded by people who did everything for me.  As I grew older the crowd of admirers diminished but their remained a few in my life who loyal to the end knew me and my crown.

I love the people who love me without words.  Those few people could hold my attention just with their presence.  They reached the place inside that turns off my mouth and just awakens my heart to really listen.  Ironically they left this world before I really heard them.

I am a stranger in this world.  I am full of life that is impossible to describe.  I am a rebel in this world but in the place I call home I am a queen.  I have let this world bend me but my roots are so deep that no matter what I never gave up. 

I never could just take anything at face value.  I never could just accept what someone said as truth.  I always argued, looked, pondered, studied, tested, tried and attempted to prove everything.  This world said that I needed an education.  I went to school for 12 years and graduated with some new knowledge that in all honesty wasn’t worth anything but I met some incredible people a few who left me with some valuable information.

Later it became important that I continue but I just couldn’t follow the set rules.  I wanted to make my own choices yet when I made them I have to admit they weren’t really mine at all.  My choices have always been influenced more by the outside than what lies within me.

You know what I finally did.  I gave up on this world and just walked inside.  That decision was not one that I planned but as things turned out it happened.  You know what I found? 

I like myself, as a matter of fact I love myself.  I’m not at all like anyone else and that feels wonderful.  I don’t think there is anyone in this world greater than the person inside of this shell.  He has always been there from before I was born into this world.  He knows everything about me.  He knows it all!

He knows the facts which are my part of the book and he knows the truth and when he showed me he just laid down himself onto the facts and shared with me the truth.

He is teaching me to walk as I am learning just hearing him talk.  Everything in my life makes perfect sense.

They say the wilderness is dry.  They say the wilderness is hard.  They say nothing grows in the wilderness.  They call it a desert.  They say it’s scary. 

I say the only way to true freedom is through the wilderness of your own soul.  I could have stayed trapped in a world caught between two places forever just crying a river of time pressed hard by every noise of the hammer beating in my own mind until I became so comfortable that I didn’t remember being a queen.  I could have made any choice I wanted and I always did.  But though all hell pursued me with every weapon possible nothing could change the blood that runs through my veins.

It’s the hottest part of the day.  I go alone because I don’t want to be in the crowd. 

It’s not just a story it is a reality.

When the Apostle Peter stood and spoke to the people on the day of Pentecost he stated that they were not drunk for it was just the third hour of the day….that was over 2000 years ago what time is it now?

It’s dark.  This is a strange world at dark.  The noise is magnified it would seem.  The shadows are approaching reality. 

I met a man in the wilderness who told me everything.

Psa 23:1  A Psalm of David. The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

Psa 23:2  He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

Psa 23:3  He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

Psa 23:4  Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Psa 23:5  Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointestmy head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Psa 23:6  Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

And on the 7th day he rested and the eighth faith worked it’s perfecting work.

 

 

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