Forty-six years the LORD has spent shaping just this one part of His temple.  Rough edges still remain.  Crooked places still seen, but that’s all on the surface.  You see He began his work inside of me.

 

Trapped, feeling alone within myself I found comfort and familiarity.  Deep inside my own self lies LOVE indescribable.  He is my LOVE.  The greatest part is that I am His.  I did not find LOVE though I searched.  LOVE found me.

 

The quiet moment, exhausted by my own journey and broken to pieces by so many wrong turns I fell willing never to rise again.  But LOVE, my LOVE came to me.  He was strong and demanding in the beginning.  Arms that are neither shortened nor afraid to reach into my weakness the strong arm drawing out my weakness to increase his strength through me.

 

His voice was commanding and I trembled with respect for the tone of authority.  I was and still remain captivated by the fear of knowing Him.  I searched all my life for this one LOVE and imagined I would be prepared, dressed perfectly, yet He found me in shambles.  I looked like death, I felt like death and I wanted to die.

 

It’s not so strange to me now that He loved me just this way.  All my work and attempts to find True LOVE brought me to this place.  A place of total surrender, I came to the end of myself, but not in vain for at the end of my self was Him.

 

He has walked with me since my beginning.  He knew me before time.  He waited for me to die so that I could truly live.  He teaches me every good thing and he corrects me in love.  No greater LOVE have I found than this one who died for all and waits for His own.

 

You cannot awaken LOVE before His time but he is still watching, calling and everyone that falls at his feet when he calls into their darkness…He stands and says Come….Come away.

 

He dries my tears knowing that as long as I am in this body of flesh more tears will come.  Quietly he whispers, “Keep still my love time is almost gone.”  My heart screams within me, “How long?”  He answers, “I AM here.  I will not leave you.  Trust my voice.  Close your eyes. Rest…for soon….As you allowed me to live within you for a time you will live with me forever.  Your room is finished.  Suffer the time for another for the door is swiftly closing and time will be no more.  Eternity awaits.”

 

So I rest but my heart is ever awake eternally listening for the call.

 

The passion I feel overwhelms this temporal house of mine and occasionally when I lose control and light slips through the cracks of my own neglect I am misunderstood.  The sorrow and pining I feel is oft misunderstood.

 

I have no anger towards any nor do I long for acceptance from another.  My countenance is moved only by His Love for me and mine for Him.  I cannot change my appearance.  I strive to hold my tongue but His Love is so much for such as I that I cannot possibly restrain such Love nor do I as often attempt such restraint for it grieves my soul unbearably. 

 

When I would close my lips he washes over me anew and I part ways with control and let him speak.

 

When I would hold back a tear the fire behind my eyes breaks another bar of my self will and spills over in waves of sorrow and joy.

 

He is my Beloved and I am His.  If I were to be quiet the very hard places that I was established in would cry out.  Do not touch such Love for He burns with an Eternal flame that no man kindled and no man can quench.

 

He is my Light and my head is firmly under his feet.  He covers me in His shadow of wings. While I walk through this valley he fills the low places that that my foot does not slip.  He removes the mountains in my way for in my humanity I build them daily.  Volcanic at moments I erupt and though I settle there is always a sound, a rumble at times, a softer whisper at others but always sound.

 

I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Don’t try to understand me, Hear Him.  My flesh is what you’ll see if you look but if you close your eyes past my flesh that hurts me and others the Spirit within me is willing, comforting and calls you to Himself…Come.

 

Open the door of your heart.  You will find that He only knocks from the outside, He lives within.  He is from the beginning, He is now, and He will forever be my Rock.  Strike me and flint will fly careful not to burn I walk away bearing in my flesh another scar, another tear and another encounter with my Healer.

 

He is my shelter and I hide myself in Him for His Perfect Love dispels my fear.

 

He is my shield.  I see darts but I trust my heart is safe behind His work of Faith I walk.

 

My flesh you may have if you find an inch that I have not torn myself but you can never have what you didn’t give and that is His Love for me sealed in my heart by His very own blood.  

 

Truly His sacrifice covers a multitude of sins.  Be patient with me when I walk over the line.  He sees when my slip is showing and He alone I trust.  He allows me to put the slip under His covering and abide in Him.  The process is painful for the sword is quick when I miss the mark.  I hear His voice and I obey cutting back my self.

 

I am older and my eyes are dim but I hear the Light of His voice.  Time is my only enemy.  My past seems to rush up much too fast and I learn to tarry alone among my own thorns but not without hope.  He has promised and He will provide and He pulls back the veil of my old self again and shows me Grace where thorns are woven within a crown he wore….so time ticks off and I await, and watch and pray….

 

Writing the vision making it with bold letters for my eyes I keep dim to this world.  I mark the spot where He lies down in the happiness so that when darkness falls I find my place at His feet and He awakens….Arise My Love.

 

 

 

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