My mother used to say to me whenever I broke the rules or did something wrong, “What in the world possessed you to do that?”.  I have for 45 years answered that question by saying I don’t know, but in my head I thought I had a good reason.  I’ve done a great many things in my life some good some bad.  Sometimes the good things I did others didn’t see them as good.  Sometimes when I did what I believed to be a bad things others praised me.  I learned that people all have a different idea of what is good and bad.  That led me down a long, long path broader than the day is long.

You see after I learned that others had a different opinion of good and bad, right and wrong I started to weigh my actions by their reactions.  I would do something and stand back for the judgment.  If “they” looked pleased I took credit for the action if displeasure was exhibited I’d blame someone or something else for the action.

Attempting to be a “people-pleaser” is hard work and the payback is death. 

The whole scene reminds me of the puppet shows we used to watch every year in elementary school.  We gathered for assembly and sit mesmerized for an hour as little wooden characters held up by strings of an unseen hand performed before our eyes.  We laughed, we cried, we were frightened, we shouted for joy and anger….we responded to the little wooden characters and their story.  These characters could really not talk nor move on their own but we were amazed because we focused on the characters and never considered the unseen hand that moved them nor the unseen voice that spoke for them.

Hypocrite that’s what I was, just an actor on a stage moved by another and never speaking for myself just moving my mouth and letting something else speak for me.

What possessed me?

You know when God said it was not good for Adam to be alone he stated that he would make him a “help meet” a helper, someone to aid, help, succour.  Our help always comes from God according to scripture so our help is taken out of mankind while in a deep sleep induced by God and God fashions our help and brings our help to us and then we declare, “I own this!”  This is mine!  At that moment we begin to leave all good sense and cling to the possession.  The first wars are fought not on the battlefield but in the nursery. 

We are born grasping for something.  Fist clenched and all balled up to finally release and then we are amazed at our own hands and they begin to reach for everything.  Whatever we can’t reach we yell and cry until we make everything so noisy someone attempts to please us.

With my own children I worked really hard during those first few days of life to give my newborn child peace.  The little baby within my arms had only one language he cried.  The cry moved me deep inside.  The cry alerted me.  The cry put me into action and reaction.  The cry would spontaneously ignite a nursing, nurturing response one I could not control nor hold back.  The cry opened the flood gates.  Hunger was easy to resolve.  Thirst was easy to resolve.  Clothing was a little bit more difficult but with one touch I could distinguish the difference in the cry of food or a change of clothing.

My children had needs and I tried to meet them.  I learned to understand their language.  I learned to discern the cries.  I taught them words to replace the cries.  God taught me that he would multiply my sorrows and my conception and in sorrow I would bring forth children and that my desire would be to my husband and he would rule over me.

What possesses me?

Let me tell you about sorrow.  Sorrow is a sad word that is like a a tomorrow that never comes.  You can’t see tomorrow why?…because tomorrow always escapes us for when we lie down in rest Today passes into another day if we wake.  It was my own selfish desire that twisted my life.  I put the S in sorrow.  With sorrow there is no more tree of life only the good and evil knowledge of self.  It looks pleasant, even tastes good but it is bitter to my inner most parts.

Eve conceived Cain and Abel in Sorrow.  She possessed a man from the LORD.  The very next breath was like just an emptying breath, a vapor that passed away without much thought…like the hope of tomorrow life is what just vain?

What possesses me?

 The longing for tomorrow when I can look down and not see my own stinking walk and just see the beauty of the mist of vapour that once covered my feet in the garden of Paradise.  Paradise is just a fleeting as the vapour that covered it’s foundation.  Some call this paradise a hunting ground, some a garden, some just an enclosure made by their own hands cutting down the timbers, some call it a park, some call it a forest, some call it a house…..paradise a place, a thing….a little lower than heaven but just above this earth.

Paradise is like first love.  God is love.  God loved so much he gave.  God gave everything.  The heaven the earth all that is within the two….

Some say Paradise is just a dream maybe that’s true for all of mankind that’s asleep but when awakened you can receive the very help that will enable you to realize the dream is a reality.  Close your eyes to what you see for all that you see will possess you but just close your eyes and hear for a moment.  No division, no pain, no suffering, no good or evil, no male or female,  just that very familiar still small voice of the Creator calling us……

Psa 24:1  A Psalm of David. The earth is the LORD’s, and the fullness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.

Psa 24:2  For he hath founded it upon the seas, and established it upon the floods.

Psa 24:3  Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in his holy place?

Psa 24:4  He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.

Psa 24:5  He shall receive the blessing from the LORD, and righteousness from the God of his salvation.

Psa 24:6  This is the generation of them that seek him, that seek thy face, O Jacob. Selah.

Psa 24:7  Lift up your heads, O ye gates; and be ye lift up, ye everlasting doors; and the King of glory shall come in.

Psa 24:8  Who is this King of glory? The LORD strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle.  

Psa 24:9  Lift up your heads, O ye gates; even lift them up, ye everlasting doors; and the King of glory shall come in.

Psa 24:10  Who is this King of glory? The LORD of hosts, he is the King of glory. Selah.