Where lilies bloom….in grace

FIRE AND RAIN
Just yesterday morning they let me know you were gone
Suzanne the plans they made put an end to you
I walked out this morning and I wrote down this song
I just can’t remember who to send it to

I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain
I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I’d see you again

Won’t you look down upon me, Jesus
You’ve got to help me make a stand
You’ve just got to see me through another day
My body’s aching and my time is at hand
And I won’t make it any other way

oh, I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain
I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I’d see you again

I’ve been walking my mind to an easy time
My back turned towards the sun
Lord knows when the cold wind blows it’ll turn your head around
Well, there’s hours of time on the telephone line
To talk about things to come
Sweet dreams and flying machines in pieces on the ground.

oh, I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain
I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end
I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend
But I always thought that I’d see you, baby, one more time again, now

Thought I’d see you one more time again
There’s just a few things coming my way this time around, now
Thought I’d see you, thought I’d see you fire and rain, now

James Taylor, Released February 1970 from album “Sweet Baby James”

 

He Built the House

Forty-six years the LORD has spent shaping just this one part of His temple.  Rough edges still remain.  Crooked places still seen, but that’s all on the surface.  You see He began his work inside of me.

 

Trapped, feeling alone within myself I found comfort and familiarity.  Deep inside my own self lies LOVE indescribable.  He is my LOVE.  The greatest part is that I am His.  I did not find LOVE though I searched.  LOVE found me.

 

The quiet moment, exhausted by my own journey and broken to pieces by so many wrong turns I fell willing never to rise again.  But LOVE, my LOVE came to me.  He was strong and demanding in the beginning.  Arms that are neither shortened nor afraid to reach into my weakness the strong arm drawing out my weakness to increase his strength through me.

 

His voice was commanding and I trembled with respect for the tone of authority.  I was and still remain captivated by the fear of knowing Him.  I searched all my life for this one LOVE and imagined I would be prepared, dressed perfectly, yet He found me in shambles.  I looked like death, I felt like death and I wanted to die.

 

It’s not so strange to me now that He loved me just this way.  All my work and attempts to find True LOVE brought me to this place.  A place of total surrender, I came to the end of myself, but not in vain for at the end of my self was Him.

 

He has walked with me since my beginning.  He knew me before time.  He waited for me to die so that I could truly live.  He teaches me every good thing and he corrects me in love.  No greater LOVE have I found than this one who died for all and waits for His own.

 

You cannot awaken LOVE before His time but he is still watching, calling and everyone that falls at his feet when he calls into their darkness…He stands and says Come….Come away.

 

He dries my tears knowing that as long as I am in this body of flesh more tears will come.  Quietly he whispers, “Keep still my love time is almost gone.”  My heart screams within me, “How long?”  He answers, “I AM here.  I will not leave you.  Trust my voice.  Close your eyes. Rest…for soon….As you allowed me to live within you for a time you will live with me forever.  Your room is finished.  Suffer the time for another for the door is swiftly closing and time will be no more.  Eternity awaits.”

 

So I rest but my heart is ever awake eternally listening for the call.

 

The passion I feel overwhelms this temporal house of mine and occasionally when I lose control and light slips through the cracks of my own neglect I am misunderstood.  The sorrow and pining I feel is oft misunderstood.

 

I have no anger towards any nor do I long for acceptance from another.  My countenance is moved only by His Love for me and mine for Him.  I cannot change my appearance.  I strive to hold my tongue but His Love is so much for such as I that I cannot possibly restrain such Love nor do I as often attempt such restraint for it grieves my soul unbearably. 

 

When I would close my lips he washes over me anew and I part ways with control and let him speak.

 

When I would hold back a tear the fire behind my eyes breaks another bar of my self will and spills over in waves of sorrow and joy.

 

He is my Beloved and I am His.  If I were to be quiet the very hard places that I was established in would cry out.  Do not touch such Love for He burns with an Eternal flame that no man kindled and no man can quench.

 

He is my Light and my head is firmly under his feet.  He covers me in His shadow of wings. While I walk through this valley he fills the low places that that my foot does not slip.  He removes the mountains in my way for in my humanity I build them daily.  Volcanic at moments I erupt and though I settle there is always a sound, a rumble at times, a softer whisper at others but always sound.

 

I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Don’t try to understand me, Hear Him.  My flesh is what you’ll see if you look but if you close your eyes past my flesh that hurts me and others the Spirit within me is willing, comforting and calls you to Himself…Come.

 

Open the door of your heart.  You will find that He only knocks from the outside, He lives within.  He is from the beginning, He is now, and He will forever be my Rock.  Strike me and flint will fly careful not to burn I walk away bearing in my flesh another scar, another tear and another encounter with my Healer.

 

He is my shelter and I hide myself in Him for His Perfect Love dispels my fear.

 

He is my shield.  I see darts but I trust my heart is safe behind His work of Faith I walk.

 

My flesh you may have if you find an inch that I have not torn myself but you can never have what you didn’t give and that is His Love for me sealed in my heart by His very own blood.  

 

Truly His sacrifice covers a multitude of sins.  Be patient with me when I walk over the line.  He sees when my slip is showing and He alone I trust.  He allows me to put the slip under His covering and abide in Him.  The process is painful for the sword is quick when I miss the mark.  I hear His voice and I obey cutting back my self.

 

I am older and my eyes are dim but I hear the Light of His voice.  Time is my only enemy.  My past seems to rush up much too fast and I learn to tarry alone among my own thorns but not without hope.  He has promised and He will provide and He pulls back the veil of my old self again and shows me Grace where thorns are woven within a crown he wore….so time ticks off and I await, and watch and pray….

 

Writing the vision making it with bold letters for my eyes I keep dim to this world.  I mark the spot where He lies down in the happiness so that when darkness falls I find my place at His feet and He awakens….Arise My Love.

 

 

 

 

“sister’s keeper”?

What does that mean?  As a sister I’ve learned a few things about subtle creatures that twist words with a proverbial silver tongue and when you fall prey and are deceived it is not silver they crave but blood.

There never is a cold day in hell but occasionally I believe when deception is in progress there is a tendency to wander to the middle ground and give the appearance that maybe the pit is rather comforting sort of lukewarm but that is just the smoke of a fire burning your eyes and for a moment you lose a little perspective.  This is a good time to not be distracted by the smoke and look deep into the mirror of your own heart.  If that place is empty you’re in danger but for those of us who have hidden away the treasure of truth we find answers.  Throw some more wood on the fire and the real viper will stand up.  Be careful for he won’t slither away quickly but instead attempt to attach himself to the very hand that turns up the heat.  Remedy for removal is simple just shake it off don’t fear the marks nor the poison injected by that smooth voice promising a false redemption.

Beware of the praise on the lips of one who offers to sit at every table and provide.  His provision is simply empty words that aren’t even his own just a entangled mixture of confusion masquerading behind a false hope of change.  Bitter water and sweet from the same mouth is not new.

It is Written.

The LORD:  Where is Abel thy brother?

Cain:  I know not:  Am I my brother’s keeper?  Gen. 4:9

What “sister” is this strange man suggesting we keep?  And how would he propose she be kept?

I propose that a possessor is attempting to pierce your side my sister.  Attempting to woo you with charm when there is no real light just a display wall of mirrors that make you look good on this side but while your reeling and turning  in the fantasy you never realize that the walls are going up and the very thing that looked good will trap you within and cast you from the presence of the only true keeper of the “sister.”

The LORD [is] thy keeper: the LORD [is] thy shade upon thy right hand. Psalms 121:5

Scripture does speak of the “keeper of the women” the reference is in Esther.  Which countries is it that still have harems and would be in need of such an office?

If we pray tell find ourselves with one who would become a “keeper” that ones purpose is not freedom….”keepers” are for doors, gates, prisons, and dumb animals that can’t keep themselves.  Is that what we’ve become?  Dumbed down animals???  No, not all heed a call from the world.  We are in this world but not of this world so where are those who believe with all their heart in the kingdom to come?  Truth will set you free and that kind of perfect love throws down and away all fear of what men and this world can do.   

I come from a brotherhood of many tribes and nations and I love the brethren one and all and when I was born again by the Spirit of God I became a new creature……….a “sister” a bride if I’m to be kept it will be by the faithful maids and menservants, ”men and women” who serve in the body of Christ his Church his sister, his mother, his brother…..He keeps us all who do the will of Our Father….you’ll know them the true the faithful by their love……one for another.  No one can take these for they willing offer themselves as slaves to one another for the cause of Christ and the love of God.  It is certainly true that kind of love is waxing cold these days.  We need to learn to be quick to hear but slow to speak.

I don’t expect all to understand just felt compelled today to shout from the rooftops……..Maybe it’s time for us to call on The KING of KINGS.  We are at such a time as this when it seems who we should be is not who we are but before the hangman comes should we not cry to the only one who payed the price to save us and has the power to do so? 

LORD,

I come boldly before your throne not in my own name but in your Name….to say Father we have no excuse for what we’ve done.  We’ve heard you and yet we’ve chosen many different paths.  Forgive us these trespasses.  Let us not walk with fear and without hope but be courageous.  Let your strength be made perfect in our weaknesses.  Father my fear only lies in the truth that with such deception even your elect could be deceived.  Keep us LORD as I know you will according to your Word.  Father I trust you with tomorrow but Today I pray that all would Hear you.  Lord let me leave all vengeance in your hands for you alone are Just….I pray for all the leaders over me and my country LORD that your will be done.  I thank you for them and the country you have blessed me to live in and the others I have been privileged to visit…along with the others I have not seen.  The earth is yours and the fullness thereof and even with so great a grace that you so freely give we still as a people trample on it, reject it, refuse it and blindly attempt to make our own way.  But LORD you are The Way, The Truth and the Giver of LIFE so in humility I bow my crown to you.  In Jesus Name Amen.

 

Possession

My mother used to say to me whenever I broke the rules or did something wrong, “What in the world possessed you to do that?”.  I have for 45 years answered that question by saying I don’t know, but in my head I thought I had a good reason.  I’ve done a great many things in my life some good some bad.  Sometimes the good things I did others didn’t see them as good.  Sometimes when I did what I believed to be a bad things others praised me.  I learned that people all have a different idea of what is good and bad.  That led me down a long, long path broader than the day is long.

You see after I learned that others had a different opinion of good and bad, right and wrong I started to weigh my actions by their reactions.  I would do something and stand back for the judgment.  If “they” looked pleased I took credit for the action if displeasure was exhibited I’d blame someone or something else for the action.

Attempting to be a “people-pleaser” is hard work and the payback is death. 

The whole scene reminds me of the puppet shows we used to watch every year in elementary school.  We gathered for assembly and sit mesmerized for an hour as little wooden characters held up by strings of an unseen hand performed before our eyes.  We laughed, we cried, we were frightened, we shouted for joy and anger….we responded to the little wooden characters and their story.  These characters could really not talk nor move on their own but we were amazed because we focused on the characters and never considered the unseen hand that moved them nor the unseen voice that spoke for them.

Hypocrite that’s what I was, just an actor on a stage moved by another and never speaking for myself just moving my mouth and letting something else speak for me.

What possessed me?

You know when God said it was not good for Adam to be alone he stated that he would make him a “help meet” a helper, someone to aid, help, succour.  Our help always comes from God according to scripture so our help is taken out of mankind while in a deep sleep induced by God and God fashions our help and brings our help to us and then we declare, “I own this!”  This is mine!  At that moment we begin to leave all good sense and cling to the possession.  The first wars are fought not on the battlefield but in the nursery. 

We are born grasping for something.  Fist clenched and all balled up to finally release and then we are amazed at our own hands and they begin to reach for everything.  Whatever we can’t reach we yell and cry until we make everything so noisy someone attempts to please us.

With my own children I worked really hard during those first few days of life to give my newborn child peace.  The little baby within my arms had only one language he cried.  The cry moved me deep inside.  The cry alerted me.  The cry put me into action and reaction.  The cry would spontaneously ignite a nursing, nurturing response one I could not control nor hold back.  The cry opened the flood gates.  Hunger was easy to resolve.  Thirst was easy to resolve.  Clothing was a little bit more difficult but with one touch I could distinguish the difference in the cry of food or a change of clothing.

My children had needs and I tried to meet them.  I learned to understand their language.  I learned to discern the cries.  I taught them words to replace the cries.  God taught me that he would multiply my sorrows and my conception and in sorrow I would bring forth children and that my desire would be to my husband and he would rule over me.

What possesses me?

Let me tell you about sorrow.  Sorrow is a sad word that is like a a tomorrow that never comes.  You can’t see tomorrow why?…because tomorrow always escapes us for when we lie down in rest Today passes into another day if we wake.  It was my own selfish desire that twisted my life.  I put the S in sorrow.  With sorrow there is no more tree of life only the good and evil knowledge of self.  It looks pleasant, even tastes good but it is bitter to my inner most parts.

Eve conceived Cain and Abel in Sorrow.  She possessed a man from the LORD.  The very next breath was like just an emptying breath, a vapor that passed away without much thought…like the hope of tomorrow life is what just vain?

What possesses me?

 The longing for tomorrow when I can look down and not see my own stinking walk and just see the beauty of the mist of vapour that once covered my feet in the garden of Paradise.  Paradise is just a fleeting as the vapour that covered it’s foundation.  Some call this paradise a hunting ground, some a garden, some just an enclosure made by their own hands cutting down the timbers, some call it a park, some call it a forest, some call it a house…..paradise a place, a thing….a little lower than heaven but just above this earth.

Paradise is like first love.  God is love.  God loved so much he gave.  God gave everything.  The heaven the earth all that is within the two….

Some say Paradise is just a dream maybe that’s true for all of mankind that’s asleep but when awakened you can receive the very help that will enable you to realize the dream is a reality.  Close your eyes to what you see for all that you see will possess you but just close your eyes and hear for a moment.  No division, no pain, no suffering, no good or evil, no male or female,  just that very familiar still small voice of the Creator calling us……

Psa 24:1  A Psalm of David. The earth is the LORD’s, and the fullness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.

Psa 24:2  For he hath founded it upon the seas, and established it upon the floods.

Psa 24:3  Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in his holy place?

Psa 24:4  He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.

Psa 24:5  He shall receive the blessing from the LORD, and righteousness from the God of his salvation.

Psa 24:6  This is the generation of them that seek him, that seek thy face, O Jacob. Selah.

Psa 24:7  Lift up your heads, O ye gates; and be ye lift up, ye everlasting doors; and the King of glory shall come in.

Psa 24:8  Who is this King of glory? The LORD strong and mighty, the LORD mighty in battle.  

Psa 24:9  Lift up your heads, O ye gates; even lift them up, ye everlasting doors; and the King of glory shall come in.

Psa 24:10  Who is this King of glory? The LORD of hosts, he is the King of glory. Selah.

 

Mary Knows….Do you?

I can’t imagine what it was like for that young girl from Bethlehem.  She was not just a young girl but a virgin.  That alone is hard to imagine these days especially in light of the fact that she was engaged.  That was the good “ole” days when a young girl would save herself for her one and only.   That must have been difficult but then again it was a long time ago before things changed I guess or have they changed so much?

Christmas is a time when even the Protestants talk of Mary.  We read about her.  We sing songs about her and we ask the question, “Mary did you know?” 

Mary did you know they still question your virginity?

Now there’s a question, I mean when a young girl with a steady boyfriend suddenly announces she’s pregnant well she must have known what people would think.

Mary was on ordinary girl from an ordinary town with an ordinary life until heaven invaded her ordinary with an extraordinary message.  Mary was alone when she received her message from a heavenly messenger.  She didn’t automatically understand so she asked, “How can this be?”  I mean after all we can see Mary was no dummy she understood where babies come from and she knew no man.  The answer came and she just received the message.  The message was as old as time and beyond time.  Now the message would be heard by all the world.  Who would believe Mary?

Joseph certainly didn’t, not just in hearing.  He was a JUST man and not wanting to go public decided to put her away privately.  Now isn’t that special.  Let’s just divorce the whole idea of marriage and a lifetime of happily ever after and go back to building.  Building is Joesph’s specialty.  Mary knew something Joseph did not know.  The LORD himself was building a house.

Truth is except the Lord build the house then it is pretty much vanity……………so God chose a carpenter’s betrothed to place himself within and reveal his house to the world.  Now Joseph was just a human, upright in his stature and human to the core. 

Humans tend to want to hide what they can’t explain in human terms.  Self preservation you know.  My girlfriend has sinned I shall hide her for her sin will be seen as my own.  Oh I hear echoes from a thorny garden.

Joseph was thinking and trying to build a plan and while he was thinking he was asking. And Joseph’s thinking and wondering caused him to be weary and he fell asleep.

Mary heard and conceived fully awake.

Joseph heard and when he awakened obeyed.

Joseph and Mary two people becoming one to carry and protect the Light of the World.

We could do well to leave the physical sleeping and take up the message from Heaven.